I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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