I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
