It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
