Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
