Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
