I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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