I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
