I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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