His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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