So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
