Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
