did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
