the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
