Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
