Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
