Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Randomize
