It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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