I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
