Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
