did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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