Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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