I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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