I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
