idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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