My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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