Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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