My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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