when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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