I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize