What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
