Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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