I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
