i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
