I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
