called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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