xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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