You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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