i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Come share oat with me in your robe
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize