I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
