I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize