I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
