you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
