There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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