return my video game
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
