i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
