whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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