Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
