She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize