We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
