One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
