Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
