What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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