I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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