Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
and she was petting her beer can
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Blow job season was short but glorious.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
