just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
