cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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