im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
is it fun? or sober?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
