I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
