If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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