IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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