so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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