made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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