Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
