Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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