that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
