No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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