I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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