Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
