Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
