New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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