I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
