with your own penis?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
