I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
