Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
