i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
