Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
