He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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