So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
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