That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
