He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
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