this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
