I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
