i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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