i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Randomize